Facebook’s Battered Spouse
During my service as a Texas police officer I frequently intervened in cases of domestic abuse. There were a handful of cases over my eight year career where an abused woman managed to accept outside assistance and escape her very dangerous environment. There were hundreds of cases where the victim refused that assistance, lied to cover for her abuser, or temporarily left only to return to him again. The psychology behind battered spouse syndrome is difficult for those who have not experienced it personally or through a close family member or friend to understand. To the typical mind, the decision to escape a life threatening environment seems to be obvious. For the victim, however, that decision point often never comes, due to the insidious growth of the danger.
Abusers start out wearing the false persona of a loving, considerate person. They often seem to be more concerned and protective of their partner than typical. That is a subtle danger sign that gets mistaken for chivalry and guardianship by the victim. It is a thin masquerade that lives atop a hidden underbelly of jealous rage and possessiveness. That underbelly is exposed in a gradual series of escalating events over a long period of time. The transformation from protective and caring to control and punishment occurs so subtly that the victim never experiences a point in time where there is enough contrast to trigger a survival decision.
This victim psychology pattern manifests in many other relationships and scenarios. It occurs not just in individual relationships, but in groups, and even entire nations. The “People’s Temple” cult led by Jim Jones that ultimately ended in the tragic murder-suicide of several hundred of his followers is a prime example of the mass battered spouse syndrome.
Today the syndrome has manifested in the social media universe. Platforms like facebook and Twitter began as benevolent, “free” social partners that offered the resource of convenient tools for sharing our lives with friends, family, and even strangers across the globe. There were a handful of basic, sensible rules that made users feel secure and safe under the gaze of an apparent responsible and protective platform which banned criminal activity and threats of violence in its realm.
Then came a gradual accumulation of more complex rules. As the years went by they progressed from deleting content that was overtly threatening, to content that seemed to imply veiled threats, to content that might offend someone’s feelings. Then came more and more temporary account locks as punishment for those who shared views that did not align with the political values of the platform founders. Ultimately, the true underbelly exposed itself in full possession and control of the users’ content.
Today, your facebook posts are frequently plastered with algorithm and human generated warnings or overlays that proclaim to all your followers that you are a liar based on whether your post triggered the “fact checkers” who oppose your ideas. These notices are frequently attached to pure opinion posts, which by nature are not “fact checkable” because opinions are a person’s conclusions based on information they have ingested, not statements of fact. The constant barrage of “facebook jail” sentences, having your posts plastered with banners that imply you’ve tried to mislead your audience (which often includes your friends and family) is a form of abuse and bullying.
For this reason, among many others, I for one will be terminating my facebook and Twitter accounts on September 8, 2021 and have been moving to social media partner platforms that respect my security and free speech instead of battering me under their old disguise of protection and concern.
What about you? Are you too conditioned by the insidious descent into this toxic relationship to break free before it destroys your life, your nation, and your world? Are you the battered, brainwashed spouse of Twitter and facebook?
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